Life Note

I jumped. But this isn’t a suicide note…

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Cheer Up

Dressed head to toe in sex worker pink…

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My first conscious act was a tweeted cow fart.

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I bought a haunted doll on Facebook…

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“You knew they weren’t dolphins,” she sobbed, “I fucking hate you!”

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He was waiting for me that afternoon in the school bike sheds.

“Yo, Jay.” I said, all casual but actually shitting myself.

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She was enormous, naked and black. And she was walking slowly in the middle of the road.

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She lied about David Beckham.

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‘Will you dance with me?’ he said.

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The raindrops splattered…

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It was in Kinshasa in 1982…

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Turns out it was Kanye West in the other tent.